Jennifer’s Oscar winning envelope (x)
- Don’t ask a girl out unless you have a minimum of 15 character references attesting to her homosexuality and unless she has “gay” tattooed on her forehead. Otherwise you are preying on a straight girl.
- Don’t flirt with a girl unless she initiates it by walking up to you and saying “hello I am gay.”
- Don’t attend gym class at school because changing in the same locker room as other girls is a sure sign that you are being predatory. If you absolutely must attend gym class, either don’t change for gym and fail the class or keep your eyes closed the entire time you are in the locker room.
- Do not look at other girls, ever. This sets back feminism because by looking at girls while being attracted to them you are looking at them with the male gaze.
- Don’t compliment a girl on her looks. Don’t compliment a girl on anything at all because you could be complimenting her in a lesbian way and this is predatory.
- It’s probably best if you never leave the house.
Research Finds That A Glass Of Orange Juice Contains As Much Orange Juice As One Glass Of Orange Juice
i’ve never heard that fall out boy song is it good
I JUST BURNT MY HAND ON MY LAMP TRYING TO TURN IT OFF LAMPS SHOULD NOT BE HOT ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU THIRD DEGREE BURNS THIS IS BULLSHIT.
maybe if you’d go outside and used natural sunlight instead of running your lamp for 13 hours straight, this wouldn’t happen :)
OH I’M SORRY IT’S 3:38AM LET ME JUST WAKE UP THE SUN SO I CAN SIT OUTSIDE WITH MY SKINLESS BURNT HAND AND BASK IN THE GLORY OF NATURAL DAYLIGHT.
22 Celebrity Impressions singing Firework
Can we talk about how dead on these were? What y’all know about Bernadette Peters!?!?!(Aside from the fact that she played Brandy’s evil stepmama in Cinderella.)
what the fuck
if i ever neglect to reblog this assume i’m dead
omg she must have had so much time on her hands.
to everyone who has ever heard phantom skype noises while listening to music
not so long ago, in the mysterious land of toronto, canada, scott pilgrim was dating a tumblr user.
take a moment a watch this video you really wont regret it omg
Omg I love this guy
Reblog for the day crowd.